LOSCC vs Woodford Green.

Report vs Woodford Green

Match Report
Date 31/08/14 
Oppo – Woodford Green (a)
Type – Timed
Report by Hans Cricket Anderson

Once upon a time there was a cricket team. A mighty fine cricket team full of heroic sportsmen admired the world over for 
their skill, dedication and athleticism. This fine cricket team played Woodford Green and oh how it was a display of true 
professionalism with all players turning up sober and on-time after a Saturday in outer space.
So children, of this gallant bunch we have Goldilocks Ollie Graham, brave and strong who to keep up his powers, he eats a 
lot. En-route he stopped off with Hansel and Gretel helping himself to vast tin foil packages from the roof of the house 
to tuck into and eat with his porridge.
As well as Goldilocks there were 4 grizzly bears, head bear Wicks, cuddly cry boy 'keep em out' Wicks, psycho bear Wicks 
and little tiny young bear Wicks.
Captain Marvel, world saver and all round super hero took his acts of bravery this week to the crease. Captain Marvel 
wrestled bravely with the opposition forcing them into submission batting for a galactic 450 balls scoring a half century 
in a light year.
Matt 'red Max in the crimson haybaler' Hiscock scored 42 after taking the chequered flag at Woodford Green having completed 
a wacky race on the M6 back from Fleetwood. Also making up this fine bunch of men who contributed with the bat were Club 
Captain Simon 'Ron Jeremy how big is yours' Heed, taking a break from guest appearances in size enhancing promotional 
videos to smash a great half century with his wood swinging majestically to the left hand side of the field! Ryan Naylor 
(26 not out) and Simon formed a great partnership working together like the Slag Brothers in the Boulder Mobile. Also 
worthy of a mention is Jay Williams, goldilocks side kick and companion.
LOSCC declared on 225-4 a good total to try and bowl our opposition out against in what was a time match as opposed to a 40 
overs game.
Bowlers cuddly cry boy 'keep em out' Wicks and 'Roy of the Rovers leading wicket taker got more wickets than Alan Wicks 
Revell' bowled economically both taking early wickets supported well by Andy Humphrey (who is writing this report and 
bares no resemblance to any cartoon character or nursery rhyme).
Enter the fray young bear Wicks fresh from lashings of porridge at tea. 12 years old he bowled 5 overs for 25 including a 
maiden. A fantastic effort from one so young and he really showed Uncle Alan how it's done!
Unfortunately the O's never got enough wickets to make an impact early enough into the Woodford Green batting line up and 
so the game fizzled out. In normal circumstances it would have been a win.
A special mention to our supporters. It was great to see Alan and Ian's father watching and for Simon to score a half 
century in front of his mother. Also watching were Peter Pan and Captain Hook.
The only 2 remaining things to mention are the sight of Matt Hiscock sitting in the bar with his knife and fork at the 
ready for his Sunday night curry........that never happened and Ryan Naylor attempting a deadline day transfer to sign a 
professional umpire with lines that really are not for repeating here!

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© Dave Revell