Woodham Mortimer.

Report vs Woodham Mortimer

Match Report
Date 28/05/17 
Oppo Woodham Mortimer (h)
Type 40 Overs
Report by Liam Mulholland

O’s looked to build on the excellent victory from last week with the first ever visit from 
Woodham Mortimer to the QE2 Field. Losing the toss the visitors took first use of a good 
looking pitch on a hot humid afternoon. O’s opened with Gordon Graham who was taking no chances 
with the blazing sun smothering himself in factor 150. Graham bowled a brilliant opening spell 
showing his coaching sessions at Lords this winter were not in vain bowling great lines to finish 
1-24, all the bowlers bowled good tight spells picking up wickets at regular intervals, the 
emerging all-rounder Zaman again topping the bowling with a return of 2-21. Fine work behind the 
stumps by debutante Matt Bazzoni who claimed 3 catches & even the Minkster was involved in a run 
out which makes a change as the previous day he was run out for the 18,877th time of his career, 
not a speedster our Minkster as O’s bowled out a powerful batting line up for 112. A score well 
below par on that wicket. Now the crucial part of the day as the players had first sight of the 
season of Tina’s tea spread. It was as usual an amazing display of treats which for our resident 
foodmeister Mr Minkey it was just too much excitement, his eyes popped out of his head as he 
suddenly turned into the Jim Carrey character from the film The Mask, screaming “Smoking!” he 
ploughed into the delights on offer and at one stage you could not see his face as he attempted to 
stuff 5 hot dogs down at once, as tommy sauce spewed all over his whites behind the mountain of 
bread & hot dogs you could hear him shouting “Somebody stop me”, food and the Minkster a very 
deadly combination. Eventually the Minkster had to be pulled away from the tea table kicking and 
screaming to open the batting which unsurprising lasted briefly, on his dismissal he raced from 
the field and dived full length into the tea table landed head first in a beautiful chocolate cake, 
the sight of him walking around the club house licking the chocolate off his face is frankly not on. 
Meanwhile the weather had now closed in and despite the efforts of Barot and Riches to up the 
scoring the O’s finished on 73-2 before rain put a stop to proceedings, Barot scoring a fine 39 with 
the inform Riches remaining unbeaten on 27. O’s denied a certain win but looking in good shape for 
the trip to Mayfield next week.       

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