LOSCC vs Hockerill

Report vs Potter St & Church Langley

Match Report
Date 26/06/11 
Oppo – Potter St & Church Langley (A)
Type – 40 Overs
Report By Lasith (The slinger) Malinga


The O`s arrived at a sweltering Harlow for their 5th consecutive match on the road. Skipper Heed struck gold again 
winning the toss and delighting the boys with the news that we will bat first with the mercury touching 90 degrees.
The Graham`s quickly slapped on their family size bottle of factor 80 sunscreen and rushed outside to grab the last 
2 remaining spots in the shade the other 2 being taken by scorer Edwards and his vast array of pens, pencils, rubbers,
swiss army knife, string, cans of John Smiths, Ruddles, Old Shepherds Todger and jelly babies. The two Bob 
partnership was reunited and Marsh got off to a brisk start taking 10 off the first over. The 3rd over unfortunately 
became a farce as even though our man with cider pumping out of every pore in his body had creamed 10 of the first 
over, the legend from Gravesend would not take guard as from the same end he demanded a child's teddy bear behind 
the bowlers arm be removed of his left eye as the sun was reflecting off it into his eyeline. After our friendly 
East End psycho Wicks slashed Teddy`s eye with his stanley knife the poor child who owned Ted was now crying with 
torrents of tears, after our East End mobster put a patch over his eye and told the child a lovely fairy story about 
2 twin brothers from Bethnal Green who grew up to rule the world the child calmed down a tad. With Teddy now sorted 
the bowler was a stride into his run up when James pulled away from the crease complaining of the noise from squeaking 
trolley wheels from the nearby Tesco, our deranged gangster rushed into Tesco and forced the store to close down 
whilst all trolleys were squirted with WD40. At last we could start the over,.........I don`t think so James now 
complained of the reflection from a window of a car behind the bowlers arm, the gargantuan Wickes was getting just a 
little wound up by these delays so he stormed round to the motor with his £7.75 Macro bat and smashed all the car windows,
problem solved but 45 minutes totally wasted. The two Bobs actually had a very good opening stand racing to 50 with 
James contributing a very handy single in the stand. Magners Marsh continued his fine run of form with his trademark 
cuts and pulls, with the score on 90 James received a nasty lifter that brought a huge appeal for a caught behind 
umpire Mulholland was unsure and waited for Sportsman James to help him out, with James furiously rubbing his temple 
he gathered it may have been a little high. At a break in play Mulholland casually asked Bob that he had made the 
right decision, James replied `I smashed it Lee but I never walk when the temperatures are in the 90`s', with the stuffing 
and blood pissing out of his glove I think that confirmed his answer. James finally went with the score on 105 in 
the 18th over for a very steady 26 which were all singles. Marsh followed next ball to a devilish swinging yorker 
LBW for a Sunday best of 71. The O`s score fell away with Maddie holding things together for a handy 36 not out,
Skipper Heed mowed a few lusty hits for a quick 26. Teejay given out LBW by the mental case Wicks on the grounds of 
`He took no guard Lee I`m not having it son, are you with me`. Whatever big man. whatever you basket case. Mulholland 
was run out trying to recreate the old R Whites secret lemonade drinker advert as he tried to sneak a single but the 
fielder was not falling for it and promptly run him out as he tiptoed down the wicket with his boots in each hand, O`s 
closed on 189-6 a good 30 short of par score. The Graham`s opened the bowling looking very strange with their faces 
dripping in sunscreen but it was no laughing matter as they promptly tore through the batting reducing Potter Street 
to a sorry score of 23-5 in the 7th over. With the game over Sunshine proceeded to have a 33 over net showing us his 
full repertoire of blocks his innings of 29 not out making Bob James look like Sewag. Heed threw the ball around to 
his back up bowlers but no one came near to shifting the `Wall` even`Harry Potter` Runeckles could not tempt him with 
his 60 foot high floaty spinners. Ollie Graham was finally brought back to rip another 3 out one of his bowled 
dismissals sending the bail further than James has ever hit a ball................ ok not far then. Young Ollie 
finishing with a career best of 8-5-12-6 just a year on from his debut for the O`s the 16 year old is making great 
strides in his game, he now needs to get a motor and start driving Mulholland home after a skin full. A comprehensive 
win for the O`s with a return to Barkingside next week the council are knocking up posters banning all Teddy bears 
form the park whilst the Gravesend run machine is at the crease.
 

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© Dave Revell