Rettendon CC. Rettendon CC.
Match Report Date 26/04/26 Oppo Rettendon (a) Type 35 Overs Report by Ray Ban With the O’s suffering an opening day defeat at Eastons, next up was Rettendon. Infamously known for the early 90’s demise of drug linked gangsters. Coincidentally the O’s have also been absolutely murdered on previous visits to this lovely ground. Skipper Ian Richardson (referred to by the oppo skipper as Volodymyr Zelensky) lost the toss meaning the O’s were invited to bat on a sunny afternoon in this 35 over match. Sandeep Barot and Jack Baker-Merry opened the batting, however runs were at a premium as the Os found themselves 47-0 at drinks. Up and coming youngster Andy Humphrey sat patiently with his pads on as he was probed relentlessly by Ritzy for his old boys Wednesday afternoon stuff “So how old are you now Andy” “47 he replied” “Ok, so you’re pretty much ready for the Vets then that’s great. I’ll be in touch” said Ritzy. Ritzy then sent out an inspirational message to his openers “Look guys the game is now lost so can we at least get on with it please” Both batsman ticked up the run rate from 2 an over to trickle the scoreboard over 100 before Barot retired with an admirable 50*. Matt Hiscock came to the crease to join JBM (37) who lost his wicket almost immediately having been clean bowled by spinner Goodrich. Young starlet Andy Humphrey (35) partnered Hiscock (15) and the pair got the scoreboard moving until Goodrich picked up both wickets in quick succession allowing Elby a couple of boundaries in the final couple of overs before Richardson was out for a duck off the last ball of the innings bringing the Os total to 169 for 4. Goodrich unsurprisingly the pick of the Rettendon bowlers with all 4 victims and a very good spell. An outstanding tea was consumed which included an impressive cheeseboard, although John Hayes was less than impressed all cherry bakewells had been acquired by the time he arrived at the cake stand. The Os took to the field with Richardson pre-warning Hiscock he had plenty of bowling options so he’ll likely not be required, however just 4 deliveries into the innings and Richardson getting smashed to all parts he turned in rage to MH advising him to get ready to bowl. Surprised at the change of strategy discussed 3 minutes earlier and not having bowled for over a year, MH politely enquired whether perhaps a bit of pace from Jack Baker-Merry might be a better option with a new ball? Ritzy was fuming. “Right I’ll remember this!” he barked as he threw the ball at JBM. JBM who is surely on the cusp of an inevitable England call up got the prized wicket with a very good delivery that skittled through clean bowling the dangerous Eckhert. At the other end Pratham Bhatia wearing his latest sponsored specs ran in and showed much effort picking up another important early wicket. Hayes was the next bowling change and delivered a very tight spell which kept the O’s in the game. Meanwhile debutant O’s fan and left armer Joe Clapton came on picking up his maiden wicket for the club thanks to a diving catch by Hiscock at mid-on (Didn’t “refuse” that one did you Richardson was alleged to have muttered) The runs continued to flow for the hosts with the bad deliveries being punished and a fair few wides helping their cause but the Os showed passion, spirit, fight, energy, endurance and enthusiasm. Sadly everything the football team have been lacking in recent weeks. Ollie Buck continued where Hayes had left off and again kept things tight to increase the pressure on the home side and he was deserved wicket as the Rettendon batsman played on with Buck denied glory a few moments earlier after a tough chance was dropped by Hayes doing his Toby the goalkeeper impression. Richardson brought himself back and picked up an LBW when a peculiar attempt at a reverse sweep went wrong bringing the O’s hope with the hosts still needing another 18 runs and the overs reducing. Rettendon continued to punish the bad balls though and in the end they completed the chase with 3 overs to spare and six wickets in hand. Post game drinks were enjoyed by all with much discussion about the O’s current plight. Barot seemed to be outraged more than anyone when discussing Os potential relegation “Get Tendulkar in and I guarantee he’ll sort this crap out” Next up is Great Canfield….
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© Dave Revell