LOSCC vs Theydon Bois.

Report vs Theydon Bois

Match Report
Date 17/08/14 
Oppo – Theydon Bois (a)
Type – 40 Overs
Report by Ivor Lumberjack

The mighty O’s took on Theydon away in yet another game which was clouded in controversy. This week it was the ‘Treegate’
affair which almost caused a punch up between scorers, players, umpires and practically anyone who was in the close 
vicinity of the ground (More to follow on this later)
The O’s lost the toss and Theydon elected to bat meaning Revell and Wicks opened the bowling for the O’s. CB Wicks was 
fired up (as usual) and battled with Corporal Tom who wasn’t interested in any of the Wicks street tactics! ‘If you hadn’t 
of middle that for four mate you were a goner!’ boomed Wicks as Corporal Tom smashed another four to race to 50 before no 
time at all!
The O’s were finding it difficult to find the breakthrough and called upon Jack Baker Merry to see if he could find the 
answer. Unfortunately he couldn’t despite having the benefit of ‘mentor’ Wicks standing next to him at mid off giving 
valuable advice such as ‘ For *%£* sake, just pitch the *&%*’ (Always good for a young lad who is on the receiving end of 
a bit of tap to have that encouragement alongside him!) Giraffe at the other end was bowling reasonably well and finally 
broke the opening partnership as a snick behind was caught by Marvel.
The O’s continued to find it tough though and it was only a couple of great catches from Eddie in the deep off Mulholland’s 
bowling (Half trackers that were caught near the tennis courts) that were of any real note as Theydon finished on 200-4 
from their 40 overs!
Theydon’s tea wasn’t worth a mention (oh damn I mentioned it – That pasta was vile!)
Anyway I will move straight onto the O’s innings as Eddie and Matty opened the batting. A very peculiar start as Matty 
hit a four, smashed a six and then was caught behind snicking one to the wicketkeeper trying to play a forward defensive 
shot!
This brought Ryan to the crease who was looking forward to an innings on one of his favourite grounds! As Ryan kneeled 
down to the crease to take guard and pay his respects to ‘the Rastafarian gods’, it didn’t take long to show he was in 
the mood for some runs. Eddie supported well and it looked like the O’s were cruising their way to victory……..then came 
the ‘treegate’ affair.
A ball which trickled down to fine leg appeared to strike the tree and was called a boundary by one of the Theydon fielders. 
Umpire ARC Humphreys (RC stands for Ray Charles) signalled for the boundary but then upon challenges from the Theydon 
fielders who retrieved the ball was informed it did not make contact and therefore declared it might not have been a 
four???? Total confusion surrounded the ground, however the bowler ran in for the next delivery with the wrong man on 
strike and Eddie pulled it straight to square leg on what looked very suspiciously like a no ball!
With skipper Marsh realising Tooth should not have been on strike as the boundary WAS signalled, Marsh went into scream-boy 
mode ‘Nooooooooo’ he boomed as Eddie trudged back to the pavilion. Controversy followed as both sides debated whether they 
should call Lords or the Arboricultral Association to seek clarification of what actually counts as the tree!
This brought Marvel to the crease who hit a couple of boundaries but was then bowled around his legs. Naylor continued 
and his marvellous innings with a fine array of shots and brought up his well deserved hundred with a six. With 
Baker-Merry at the crease the O’s edged closer to victory assuming they needed 1 to win Naylor made a single and the #
stumps were taken out the ground as handshakes followed with the O’s believing they had earnt the victory. ‘Hold on hold 
on’ screamed Revell who was scoring ‘We still need another one’
With all the fielders having chased the ball for the last 2 hours following Naylor’s superb knock, they were forced to put 
the stumps back in for the O’s to knock off the final run…………….JBM incredibly was then bowled the very next next ball 
meaning Giraffe had to get his pads on pronto. A maiden followed as the O’s couldn’t knock of the final run and then 
Giraffe was caught lobbing one up to mid-off.
Even the O’s could not muck this one up…………………..Could they?
Another maiden followed as the O’s made Theydon stay out a little bot longer but it all came to an ‘official end’ as Marsh 
scampered a single to see the O’s home for yet another victory.

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© Dave Revell