LOSCC vs Woodham Mortimer.

Report vs Woodham Mortimer

Match Report
Date 11/05/14 
Oppo – Woodham Mortimer (a)
Type – 40 Overs
Report by Art Ikseal

After a little Sunday morning uncertainty about whether or not the game would be on, LOSCC travelled to the delightful 
ground of Woodham Mortimer. Unlike last year, however, when the weather was one of the hottest days of the year, Sunday
11 May will go down in any decent Weatherman's diary as "a day one should have stayed in the warm with some top shelf 
magazines for company".
Without any comparisons to top shelf magazines, skipper Heed tossed delightfully and duly ejected to field first! 
A slightly late start ensued because the motor carrying Ajay, Neil and debutant Ian Morgan stopped off (en-route from 
Muswell Hill they even went via Selsey Bill......beep beep boop boop) at the Hungry Horse for a ploughmans, J20 and a 
play around in the ball pool........or did they say they were just passing the pub!? Mmm....! Back en-route to the 
ground, it was all plain sailing with the 3 of them duly playing air guitar aka Wayne's World.
Woodham got off to a flyer with opener Brady (no relation) hitting a very quick and destructive 50 within 12 overs 
with the opening bowlers Revell and Hiscock taking the brunt in what can only be described as very difficult conditions
to bowl in with gale force winds and enough clothing on to make a scarecrow look anorexic. Revell finally removed 
Brady for 52 so game back on!
Mulholland, choosing to come off his shortened one day run up, bowled well returning 1-37 off his 8 overs. Enter the 
fray Neil Patel. Neil is a young kid and let me tell you Neil, bowling in the wind is no fun and is hard work - a bit 
like the 5 times table I find - so ending up with 2 wickets for 42 was a good effort!
Every now and again during our fielding effort, Ian Morgan would jump and leap around like a gazelle and fielded well 
considering he hasn't played since being bowled out in his back garden by son Louie when Louie was just 6 months old.
Woodham scored consistently with Riches mopping up 3 wickets for 35 off 4 overs offering a slightly better economy rate
than last season's fixture! Humphrey also chipped in with a devastating array of spin bowling completing 8 overs for 
35. So that left the home team after 40 overs on 221/7 which we thought was get-able!
After a nice tea and some elegant farts from the dog, LOSCC began the chase. Mulholland and Harshy Marshy opened. 
Harshy is in season and has set himself a challenging target for May but unlike the previous day, he failed to deliver
the goods and didn't use his wood well returning to the changing room dribbling to check out the latest updates on his
new array of social apps.
Skipper Heed, now weighing in at 6st 3lbs after trawling the North Sea for scallops and wearing bicycle clips all 
weekend, joined Mulholland and the pair batted well putting on 65 for the second wicket before Heed was caught for 13.
Ajay Patel was next in, less than 24 hours after downing 10 pints of Guinness and a few bottles of Jack. Lesser men 
would still be in bed after that (with or without magazines) but not Ajay! He put on 21 for the second with Mulholland 
supporting Patel with 21 of the partnership before Patel was bowled for a well persevered 0 after 8 overs. It wasn't 
an easy wicket to bat on.
Humphrey was next in and with Hiscock, Riches and Revell to come, the game was in the balance. Humphrey moved quickly 
onto 13 but was bowled trying to reach Chelmsford with a 6. Mulholland continued scoring well to make the O's score 
look respectable scoring 82 before holding out to mid-wicket. After that, the best entertainment was  Morgan, Revell, 
Patel (N) and Marsh (O) playing a champions league knock out tournament of paper, rock, scissors to determine who would
go number 11 which Revell won calling rank!
Orient ended up with 137/7 in reply with Ollie Marsh, just 11 years old, batting bravely keeping his wicket and 
supporting Ian Morgan (1 not out) with some words of wisdom encouraging Morgan to man up and stop avoiding the strike!
Unlucky chaps, good effort and well done in challenging circumstances! Thanks also to our hosts!

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© Dave Revell