Southgate Compton. Southgate Compton.
Match Report Date 09/06/2024 Oppo Southgate Compton (a) Type 35 Overs Report by The Minkster LOSCC - 140/9 (35) lost to Southgate Compton - 142/5 (34) by 5 wickets. LOSCC travelled to Southgate Compton seeking their first win of the season. It was a classic English summer's day, overcast laden skies and slightly chilly. The pitch was green, with "lunar landscape" features around a good length. After the toss, LOSCC were inserted. Trouble started immediately with Jack and Alex, the new opening batting pair in the absence of the Edgemeister, arriving late. In the spirit of stepping into his shoes, Jack decided to do a "Ride London". Once skipper Richardson was made aware, a whole stream of "Anglo-Saxon" words, which Match reporter Minkey has never heard of in his life, filled the dressing room before irate skipper Richardson finally said "Jack better gets some runs because he is not bowling". This led to the new opening partnership of Minkey and Whittam. Danny started well dispatching a short ball outside leg stump for an imperious boundary. A couple of balls later, Danny attempted the same pull shot to a pitched up ball on the stumps...and was out LBW. This brought Adam to the wicket at number 3, who decided to pinch a quick single only to be run out by a direct hit of a misfield. By now, wickets had started to fall faster than a mid 1990's England cricket team on a raging turner facing Shane Warne, as LOSCC were reduced to 5 wickets down with only 30 on the board. Opener Minkey (33, 3x4, 1x6) managed to ride his luck before getting out in the 20th over, going for one hack too many. This brought Jack (36, 2x6, 3x4) and Matt (31 4x4) to the wicket to rescue the innings somewhat, with Jack doing his best "brigadier block" impression until the haranguing from skipper Richardson in his ears subsided and he started to play some shots. Jack 'Of all trades' Baker-Merry orchanstrated the scorers from the crease, informed umpire Whittam of any LBW appeals, decided that the 110yr old disabled site screen had to be moved while abusing an innocent spectator who was walking his dog, just before being dismissed. Richardson (7no) and James (7) closed out the innings with some quick runs to produce a respectable 140/9 of 35. P. Boadumeah finishing with a well earned 4-25. However, there was one concerning incident when Umpire Felix "Casanova" Daji requested an early end to his umpiring stint (2 overs) to "talk to his girlfriend". Match reporter Minkey referred this to the LOSCC Disciplinary committee. Later, the Chairman, Matt, confirmed that "one individual has been referred to the committee for the conduct issue of 'Girlfriend before cricket' - the matter is still under investigation and I can offer no further comments at this time." This appeared to be contradicted by the Liam, the Chairman of the LOSCC sub committee on "Fines and Enforcement" who was overheard saying "The club needs the money, I have got Marsden Debt Recovery Services on the case...". The Southgate Compton innings got off to a reasonable start before a run out was effected. LOSCC then bowled well and tightly with good bowling from James (1-15), Felix (1-24), Ian (1-26) and Matt (1-13) bowling economically and keeping the run rate down. This was also well supported in the field with excellent run saving from Alex in the deep, Oliver and two sharp chances held by Danny behind the stumps. At this point, with the iffy wicket and not much batting to come, LOSCC were well in the game. However, with the arrival of their skipper Molloy (46no), fortunes changed with Oliver, having fielded so well, dropped a catch. At this point, the immortal words of Steve Waugh could be heard around the ground, "You've just dropped the world cup". Three more catches were then dropped by Oliver, including the skipper and by the fourth drop, the voice of Steve Waugh could be heard again - "Strueth mate, how many world cups are you going to drop today?". LOSCC did well to push Southgate Compton all the way to the end, however the Skipper's innings was in the end decisive for a comfortable victory. Next week, the Edgemeister returns to restore order at the top of the innings, Jack discovers using a watch helps you get to the ground on time, Marsden Debt Recovery Services turn up and start random cricket equipment repossessions - regardless of who owns them and without a court warrant, and LOSCC are away to Bengeo.
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