Hatfield Heath CC.

Report vs Hatfield Heath CC

Match Report
Date 07/09/2025 
Oppo Hatfield Heath (a)
Type 35 Overs
Report by Tony McGrath (Sir Jack's coach, mentor, sponsor and dream catcher) 


As the curtains drew to a close on another fantastic season of cricket, on a glorious sunny September afternoon, LOSCC made their final trip of the season to Hatfield 
Heath, hoping to improve on their already best season in 8 years and set a new modern day record.

With TFL strikes in full force, and only 3 car owning licensed drivers in the starting XI, there was a big scramble for travel plans, but thankfully, where there’s a 
will there’s a way and The O’s managed to field a strong starting XI. Mainly thanks to Sir Jack Baker-Merry’s mum’s Smart car, and keeper Danno’s safe hands behind the 
wheel (with a quick pit stop via Gallows Corner KFC for a pre match breakfast). Despite the travel issues, Ansar was on hand Sunday morning offering out first class 
upgrades from Paddington to Penzance if anyone fancied it. There were no takers… as tempting as it was.

With a postponed start time of 1:30, not all players got the memo of the later start, and Mayor Of Ware Mark Johnson arrived an hour and a half early, meaning one 
thing and one thing only, a quick livener in the local battle cruiser.

With the rest of the squad turning up at the correct time, Mark stumbled out of The White Horse, and the squad got together for the final team talk from the skipper 
of the season. “Right lads, we haven’t won a game since our heroics on tour, so try and get your f*cking heads in the game for once.”

With that, true to his seasons form, skipper Ritzy lost the toss, and Hatfield elected to bat first.

Setting the field, baring in mind the Sheering By Pass cutting through the outfield, Ritzy sent dud fielder Ollie Buck out to his own section of the green all by 
himself on the other side of the hard shoulder, and Felix Daji took the ball, looking to get off to a fast start. It was a fairly fast start for the Aussie in his 
final game for The O’s (for now), and he picked up a wicket in his second over, going for just 5 runs. The wickets fell fairly quickly in the early stages, with Alan 
Syrett getting amongst the action, thanks to a spectacular diving/falling/stumbling catch in the field from Mayor Of Ware Mark Johnson. He could have caught it stood 
on both feet, but the Abbots ale he’d been drinking earlier was still lingering in the system. Mark had an opportunity to take his second catch of the game shortly 
after, had it not been for Sir Jack Baker-Merry steaming into him, and making sure he took the glory. With the ball aloft to the passing cars, Jack was exclaiming 
“that’s 9 catches for the season! What with my 10 wickets and phenomenal run rate, considering my injuries this season, that’s why I think you should vote for me for 
Player Of The Season!”. The skipper was quick to point out we were yet to win a non-tour game since Sir Jack’s return from injury….

There was another spectacular moment in the O's innings, when LOSCC legend and dressing room favourite took a catch behind the stumps. This wasn't any old catch though,
this was the catch that took Danny Whittam to the top of LOSCC record books and marked him the top wicket keeper catch-taker in the clubs long and illustrious history.
A spectacular moment on the final game of the season, that wasn't even acknowledged by the skipper until Jack 'stat tracker' Baker-Merry reminded him, ensuing a mass
pile on to the great Danny Whittam! Here's to many more next season.

The O’s had got off to a tight start to the opening innings too, with Hatfield only scoring 67 in 17 overs, leaving the field for drinks with the task of putting some 
more runs on the board. As the O’s went off for drinks, Hatfield ordered an uber to deliver Buck some refreshments over on the other side of the A11.

With the O’s back out to restart their innings, Ollie Tapped his Oyster card onto the 94 bus, and made his way back over to the action, and took the ball. This was the 
start of LOSCC’s downfall, as Buck got slapped around the park by Joseph & Vijay for 25 runs off of 2 overs, and the Hatfield batters were looking to set a total to 
challenge The O’s with.

As the more competent bowlers came back on, the wickets started to fall, and The O’s bowled out Hatfield for 170, with Alan Syrett and Big John Hayes with a wicket each, 
2 for Jack Baker ‘vote for me POTS’ Merry and Aussie Daji and 4 for the skipper. This looked a chasable score for The O’s in the second innings… surely… no?

After tea, The O’s batters were gearing up for a strong and swift chase, with Skipper dishing out some inspiration over tea. “Listen lads, we just need a couple of you 
to get a decent score, and then everyone else can just add 10/20 here and there, it’s as simple as that”.

Now… the second half of this report may feel slightly shorter than the rest. The reason for that will come apparent very quickly.

Ritzy sent out his star batter Sandeep Barot to open alongside Alan “The Wall” Syrett, and things took a turn for the worst two balls in, when Sandeep eyed up a quick 
single and trotted safely home with the ball being thrown to the bowlers end, but Alan ‘Usain Bolt’ Syrett was in trouble, as the Hatfield bowler rolled the ball under 
arm down the wicket, as it trickled past Syrett to the keepers end and into the keeper’s hands, and Syrett was run out without facing a ball. Not a great start by all 
accounts.
You know what they say though? Things can’t get worse than this can it? But in the words of Mick McCarthy… “It Can”!

You could describe the LOSCC opening batting performance as a ‘collapse’, but the same could be said for most of the order truth be told. O. Buck, A. Syrett, J. Hayes,  
Dano and I. Richardson all went for ducks, obviously very keen to get into Hatfields famous curry house “Anwars” for the end of season meal, worried that if they hung 
about they wouldn’t be able to serve us. P.Elby (25) and J. Baker-Merry (33) tried their hardest to build the only partnership of the innings, but it wasn’t enough, and 
Hatfield bowled The O’s out for 114, 56 short of the target with 3.5 overs to spare. 

But enough about that, because it was time to get to the important matters on hand. Mainly Sir Jack Baker-Merry trying to slip in his season’s stats and personal 
highlights in order to win the lads round to get their vote for player of the season…let’s see how that one goes. Many beers were enjoyed, and off to Anwars they headed.
A fantastic evening was had, with emotional farewell speeches from our Overseas Aussie bowler Daji, who was close to having tears in his eyes and a rallying speech from 
the skipper about “not being as shit” next season… we can only hope! There was another Cobra fuelled speech from Alan Syrett, something about DJs or something, not too 
sure, but either way it epitomised what LOSCC is about. A tight knit group, enjoying a season of fun (yet low standard) cricket, some fantastic socials, and many friends 
made along the way. Time for the winter break, and for some of the lads to get in the nets and learn how to hold a bat!

Looking forward to seeing you all next season...Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

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© Dave Revell