LOSCC vs Wellow & Plaitford.

Report vs Wellow & Plaitford

Match Report
Date 05/08/14 
Oppo – Wellow & Plaitford (a)
Type – 40 Overs
Report by Wellow Be Blowed 

After a quiet Monday evening with everyone tucked up in bed with their cocoa at midnight after the long haul from 
Hythe, we travelled to the village of Wellow, or (Blakeyland) as it is known by the locals.
On first sight we were disappointed to note that the helipad set up for the arrival of the helicopter from Prague 
remained empty, however with a stiff upper lip, the senior members of the side got stuck into their pre match warm up 
of cider and lager, whilst the innocent youth (Del and Rodney) stretched their limbs, put on the Vaseline (faces only) 
and got ready for battle.
A vision appeared in the sunlight," no it can't be! it is you know"!, the chimes of their is only one "Meeko", as the 
living legend Bob Meeks appeared along with his chauffeur ex skipper Ian (Cause I'm worth it, and anyone with 51 ducks 
must have scored a few) Richardson. Meeko volunteered to umpire avoiding the possibility of getting so drunk in the bar 
he would be refused admission to the casino (more on this later).
Oh yes a game of cricket, skipper Simon( $6 Million man) Heed either won or lost the toss without slipping a disc or 
breaking a finger, the result, fielding with Anujan Thiru and Oliver 'Bomber' Graham taking out the top 3 early, 
including the village hero Blake for a miserly 9, Heed realising that we will not have the game threw the ball to 
Richardson (Yes he dropped it), with some of us reminiscing of tours gone by when the Wellow batsman smashed him back 
to the hotel, he did not disappoint buying his 1 wicket for 56 in 7 overs, caught by the receptionist at the casino 
(more later). As usual the bowlers for the O's do exactly what you do not want them to do, and recently married Dave 
Revell, obviously has been coached in the gardens of Halstead by his wife as he takes 5-24 to spoil the game for all 
concerned (Only joking Dave more drinking time for us all), his first 5 wicket haul for the club I believe. Dan Reece 
chipped in between phone calls to take 1-15 and Casper 0-10, highlights in the field, Marvel's one handed diving slip 
catch (better than Del Boy's on Monday who dropped at least five today) and Sujen and Dan taking some nice catches. 
The out fielding by Humphrey and Riches was assisted by Blake betting Jagermeister's between balls whether the batsman 
would hit it or not so 3 an over was pretty good going as the innings ended on 157 all out, with Oliver (theirs not ours) 
scoring 52 and Geary 28.
A tea to rival a Tina tea (I did not write that) followed with homemade cakes, cow pie and lashings of Ginger beer 
(oops wrong story).
Dan Reece with bat in one hand and phone in the other went out with Anujan (open the bowling and batting really skip) 
Thiru and proceeded to make light work of the home attack, Dan (it could be Sawbridgeworth next year, or the Bengal 
Tigers) scored 92 in between calls and only put the bowlers on hold twice before pressing the option to hit them for 
another 4, when he left muttering something about feeling queasy last night and this time next year Jack said" I will 
be a millionaire", Suzi Q came and went for his only tour failure 0 so Riches (I will hit the one in the middle) 
joined Thiru who then proceeded to run himself out by the length of the pitch for 44 but the game was won and 'Del Boy'
stood at the other end trying to promote Rodney's next fight as the runs were knocked off in 20.3 overs.
As usual the most social club on tour did not let us down and the drinks flowed long into the night, veteran home 
player Scott got fired up with a particular stance on the Labour leadership and the fact that he will be voting instead 
for Nick Clegg gave us the cultural angle, Blakey with tales of old players and heroics on the cricket fields gave us 
the emotional side, the rest of us listened to those joyous Mulholland stories of him smashing the Aussies, falling 
down verges and great nights out with fellow employees giving us the nostalgia side, when the coach came the rain 
poured but we were happy, happy in the knowledge that our bed's awaited us and sleep will soon fall down with nobody 
going out to be ready for Godshill.
You thought I forgot, well Meeko and Parker went to the casino, the great Meeko was made welcome with a sedan chair 
ready and waiting to carry him upstairs, but what is this my driver is refused entry, despite showing stills from the 
L'Oreal advert, photos of the 20 tours, the 51 ducks and all 354 wickets, and threats of I will set Oliver on you 
(our one not theirs) without photo ID you can't come in sir, (Ian you should have gone onto the LOSCC website and 
shown her your picture), another great day with good friends in both teams long may it continue whilst our bodies 
can take the strain (Drinking not Cricket).

Return to Main Page

© Dave Revell