LOSCC vs Thorley

Report vs Thorley

Match Report
Date 04/06/11 
Oppo – Thorley (A)
Type – 40 Overs
Report by Michael Holding


The O's recorded a spectacular victory this Sunday away to Thorley, marked by the triumphant return of the Big Barbadian Al "Hurricane" Wicks, 
who took 5-24 in a spell of unparalleled ferocity.

The Supporters opted to bat first and the “Two Bob” opening partnership of Marsh and James started well before Sea Farer James top edged a 
full toss to square leg for 13.  Tooth and Marsh then put on a useful partnership of 83, Tooth managing to survive another acute bout of 
Loopaphobia (the irrational fear of slow loopy bowling).  Tooth reached his fifty before being bowled but Marsh 
continued to score well, and put on a good partnership with Mulholland taking the score to 179 from 32 overs.  However after Bob departed 
for a well crafted 60 the O’s suffered a mini collapse with Heed, Rumbold Snr and Bakthavatchalam all falling cheaply.  To cap off the innings 
Bob James ruthlessly took "Umpire’s Revenge" on Ravi, enthusiastically bellowing “Yes! You’re gone! You’re out son!” as he waved the finger of death, 
due payback for the LBW injustice of Theydon Bois (August 2009). The O’s finished their innings on 191-7.

Following tea the Supporters got off to a terrible start and Thorley were crashing boundaries from the off.  Hillier picked up two wickets 
but at 113-3 from 18 overs the batting side were cruising to victory and Skipper Heed was in need of a minor miracle to turn the game around.  

The question was - who could he turn to to stop the rot and grasp victory from the jaws of defeat?  

The answer was obvious, and farting loudly at gully.    

The events that transpired were to prove one of the most breathtaking and spellbinding bowling spells of all time.  

"Typhoon Al" was thrown the ball, and with fire in his eyes and jam scones in his belly, thundered in from the top end to salvage the O’s 
from an imminent thrashing.

Pumped up from the West End premiere of "Fire in Babylon", Whirlwind Wicks set about creating his own version, tearing to the wicket to 
the deafening soundtrack of steel drums and blaring horns, "Calypso Al" began to castle the Thorley batsmen with vicious inswinging yorkers, 
sending stumps cartwheeling back as wicketkeeper Madhavan dived for cover in fear of being skewered like a kebab by the flying stumps. In 
the searing heat and samba atmosphere of Thorley, "the Beast from Bethnal Green", delirious from Red Stripe and Rum Punch at tea, hurtled in 
once again to dismiss Rooney - this time the off and middle stumps ripped out of the ground; bails flying to the boundary.  The noise from the
stands was booming around the ground and Big Al roared in again to send another delivery fizzing down to demolish the timber once more, taking 
5 wickets in 21 balls for just 2 runs - Thorley obliterated by the pace, swing and aggression from the wild paceman.* 

The batting side were crippled by this devastating spell and so it was left for Hiscock to clean up the tail to finish with figures of 2-41 
to secure victory. 

A great win for the O’s and as Big Al was carried off the pitch, swarmed by fans and the local paparazzi, accounts of the game were 
wired off to Wisden head office to take their rightful place in cricketing history.* 

(*Editors note; The accuracy of this report is unconfirmed.  Cricket historian W.H. Crockford cast doubt over this account and asserted 
that 1 June 2011 at Thorley CC was, in fact, a cold, drizzly day with few spectators, and that four of A. Wicks wickets were young children and 
a gentleman that had never played cricket previously. Both accounts remain unofficial.) 

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© Dave Revell