Woodford Green. Woodford Green.
Match Report Date 01/09/2024 Oppo Woodford Green (a) Type 35 Overs Report by Matt Wicks After the excitement of the tied Rayleigh match and the prospect of a big following on the boundary edge for the derby clash with Woodford Green, O's had a slight setback in the Whittam household, with Dan ready to go with his cricket bag he was expecting Narla his dog to be ready to follow after attending the last 2 weeks, unfortunately Narla strolled to her dog bowl and with her dog biscuits formed a large and emphatic NO, then slumped in her basket covering both eyes with her paws. Wise move Narla, wise move! With the prospect of a very hot day team manager Hiscock made the shrewd move of recalling Alan "Antigua" Syrett, all those years living on the Caribbean Island and the strong prospect of rising temperatures would have no impact on this canny operator who after a very stylish 23 v Old Pony CC 9's yesterday was also in good touch. "Antigua Alan" didn't disappoint arriving early in a jumper and scarf saying it was a tad chilly. Skipper Richardson after his lost in transit moment at Rayleigh quickly hustled to the local shop to collect his goodies for the tea break. O's lost an important toss and were sent into the field to fry. "AA" quickly changing into a thermal vest, 2 jumpers, hand warmers and a fetching balaclava, merrily going through tales of his time with all the Sir's in Antigua, Viv Richards, Curtley Ambrose, Andy Roberts, Richie Richardson. For some reason Woodford Green thought O's were a super strong outfit and started at full throttle, opener Kazmi charging the less than impressed Mulholland in the first over, with the over yielding 11 the signs were not good. After multiple ball searching Kazmi was stumped by Whittam in the 5th over for a blistering 32 after yet another charge of the light brigade. Unfortunately, the scoreboard had reached an out of control 44. More carnage continued until the arrival of Alan Wicks who kindly informed Woodford Green to call the dogs off, O's current strength is piss poor to diabolical he told them politely, Green changed the batting order and sent in the kids, by now fielding was unbearable, searing heat and hearing yet another "When I was in the casino with Viv" story. Meanwhile the boundary edge was full of old favourites, they also had their stories to tell, Steve Hillier on how he rigged the player of year vote to win it after taking 1 wicket all season. Brian Allen had the eventful story of when he cycled yes cycled down to the cricket tour, he was camping in the land adjacent to the Horse & Groom pub when a donkey in the field got stung by a wasp and stormed through his tent coming out the other side with Brian's under crackers on his head, donkey caught 3 hours later in Salisbury. How they laughed with their cold beer, cool breeze in the shade! Alan Wicks still banging on about Ritzy's moody overthrow that cost him top wicket taker, Al let it go you are always the people's champion. Back to the game and the kids were now filling their boots, youngster Bruce top scoring with 61, first ever 50 for the lad. Fielders now delirious in the baking conditions and "When I was swimming with stingrays" stories. Skipper Richardson amazingly dragged the game back from total obliteration with a great spell picking up 2 wickets in his final over leaving him on a hat trick and 1 wicket short of 500 for the club. Word got round quickly and funny man Al Wicks said " One more for 500, he normally gets tap but most spells only go for 400". JBM after his exploits at Rayleigh to tie the game suddenly burst into a stirring rendition of Men of Harlech, with a few changes to the original, by the time he reached the final chorus of: Men of Orient onto glory This will ever be your story Keep these burning words before thee Orient men will not yield. Not a dry eye in the house, local residents leaving their Sunday roast to rush towards the Green. Cars, buses, bikes were all now abandoned in the road as punters rushed to the roadside to get a glimpse of this special moment in sporting history, birds stopped singing, planes hovered above waiting for Ritzy to do the business, the fielders now emotionally pumped up by JBM, even ex forces Whittam removed his helmet to what we thought was tears but he replied "Just hay fever guys, play on". Woodford Green now silent as the great man went back to his extra long run up of 4 paces, a deep breath and out came his favourite Fuji Apple Strawberry Nectarine vape, one last drag, the flighted delivery, batsman lunged and missed it but sadly missed the sticks as well. The groan from a packed high road of spectators echoed around the Green, a chant of "Ritzy, Ritzy" was acknowledged by a smoke ringed "Thanks guys" by the great man. The last few balls an anti-climax as Green closed on 237-9. Richardson an excellent 4-20. O's were totally cooked, the heat, Antigua stories, JBM vocals, all way too much to cope with. At tea "AA" tucked into a tidy portion of Ducana followed by Saltfish & fungi and a cheeky can of Wadadli beer, don't see that bad boy in Morrisons. Another story of how Ambrose tried to bounce him and he hooked it off the island landing on the airport runway of Barbuda then took Ambrose to a club in St John's and destroyed him in a session drinking pints of rum punch. O's were bundled out in 29 overs for a dismal 98 just Parkes holding firm with a gritty 45, just one other batsman reaching double figures, crushed by 139 runs. Brave display by glove man Dan 3 catches and 2 stumpings also fair play to the brothers, ABM having played football in the morning then chased leather to all parts on possibly the hottest day of the season and brother JBM who bowled an impressive 7 overs at the start of the innings when the batters were going full on attack mode, also his Men of Orient never to be forgotten for those present. Last game of season next week at Nazeing, who will be Ritzy's 500th victim?
Return to Main Page
© Dave Revell