LOSCC vs Woodford Green.

Report vs Woodford Green

Match Report
Date 01/09/13 
Oppo – Woodford Green (a)
Type – Timed
Report by Jack Rumbold

This is the first time I have done a match report and have tried my best to give an honest account of the game last week.
We turned up at Woodford Green to find some absolute joke of a wicket which was actually an insult to be honest. LOSCC are 
a serious club with a serious reputation so I can only imagine they deliberately prepared a track to stop us turning them 
over big time.
Anyway, Simon lost the toss and meant we all had to go out an field for a few hours. The bowling was pretty poor and Matty 
decided to play football with Dan to anything that didn't find the gloves rather than  risk a serious facial with all the 
low deliveries (Beamers aside of course!) -  so it was an all round tidy as ever fielding performance.
The only point of note which is possibly worth a mention (Shall I mention it…….Oh go on then)………..Al Wicks going for the top 
wicket taker title pulled a muscle and collapsed on the floor. I actually looked and saw Dan on his knees thanking the 
cricketing gods for making sure his title of 'bowler of the season' stayed in tact.
You could hear the Cricket Gods whisper 'We got him' as Al pulled up and interestingly decided to lay the blame with 
colourful language in the direction of 'Voodoo Mulholland' who had earlier suggested Al may not last his opening spell.
Smelling an opportunity of yet another honour if he could convince Si to give him the ball……..Riches loosened up with some 
exercise moves he recently recorded in his DVD special 'Marvel Motivator'. With a serious of exercises, Marvel was seen 
jumping to the beat of  1……..2……..3…….4 when I hit the ball it goes for four…….5…….6……..7……8……..when I get a wicket it 
feels so great - Most bizarre!
Anyway Si took pity on Wicks who decided to spend the rest of the innings at first slip still giving the evil stare to 
Mulholland sensing deja vu of Old Parks all over again. Things went bad to to worse for the second best bowler at the club 
as he dropped an absolute sitter at 2nd slip.
Woodford batted well on this disgraceful track and accrued 233-6 before declaring.
A generous tea combining of Tesco's buy two get one free offers meant that the O's did not go out to bat hungry.
Woodford Green started well as Woodford lively opener resembled a young Michael Holding and quickly dismissed Riches and me 
(I mean Rumbold) bringing Mulholland to the crease. I know Li loves a stat so he won't mind me mentioning he picked up his 
22nd duck for the club as he mis-judged an average delivery!
Tooth meanwhile batted eloquently and was joined by Heed who played an excellent innings. With St John Ambulance ready on 
the boundary, Heed seemed alot more relaxed and kept the scoreboard ticking over with some nice shots.
Heed was finally caught and Tooth then followed bringing Matty to the wicket.
You know those balls that do everything............ turn square, keep low, do a bit off the pitch............this weren't 
one of them. Matty was bowled by the straight one and recorded his first duck for the club quacking all the way back to the 
dressing room.
Giraffe who had consumed 27 plates of tea survived his first ball before smelling some left over tea and making sure he was 
clean bowled on his second delivery to ensure he didn't miss out!
Jack Baker-Merry batted really well playing a really nice innings having consumed all the 100% organic chicken at tea 
giving him all the vitals nutrients needed to anchor an innings.
Having seen Psycho bowling beamers on their outbound journey, the returning passengers on the double decker in bound journey 
were ducking for cover once again as Psycho began his innings with a big six - unfortunately he was given LBW not long after 
bringing Revell and Wicks to try and save the game.
Al smashed a massive 2 into the deep (Always a 2 fit or unfit) but the game was wrapped up shortly after as Revell was done 
by an absolute shocker keeping very low.
Sociable as ever, The O's all sat outside in the freezing cold but in pleasant surroundings of trees and flowers (or was 
that Al's shirt?) sharing a few pints. Even 'Surrey Gangster' Rumbold Snr turned up to rekindle the good old days of the 
O's (1989 onwards of course)
Hope you enjoyed my report.
Ps: Al if it makes you feel any better, I think Dan probably would have beat you to the record anyway - He's got more heart!
Up the O's
Jack 

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© Dave Revell